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A Note From a Very Mature Dog
You may know me as Benny the Office Puppy. But in honor of my upcoming 5th birthday, I am officially changing my status to Benny the Office Dog.
I’m here to talk about growing up. Unlike what people might bark about, growing up isn’t about giving up your favorite squeaky toy. Everyone knows that a brand new toy doesn’t replace a endlessly slobbered upon best friend.
What growing up is about, though, is learning new things. And getting new things. I, myself, wouldn’t object to a Milkbone, just in case anyone was wondering. But I digress. As I’ve grown up, I’ve learned a lot of things. I learned that seltzer water is NOT water, no matter how thirsty you are. I also learned that there are some people who just deny their dogs harmless fun, as innocent as chewing socks off a person’s feet or stealing their shoes.
Unfortunately, through the process of growing up, I have not managed to improve my guilty look. They can always tell that I am hiding socks under the toy! I am not actually particularly guilty about this, though. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that growing up doesn’t have to mean letting go of yourself. It just means incorporating the new things you’ve learned into your personality. For me, the specifics of growing up–maturity, responsibilities, and whatnot–are not very appealing. In fact, I’d really rather not grow up at all. To prolong this inevitable fate, I eat socks. But don’t tell my owners–I’m pretty sure they haven’t figured it out yet.
“Not eating sock. Nope. Not even looking. Who, me?”
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